Days after days, years after years, I sunk myself into deep mess which was never mend to be mine. Its a constant nightmare that replay automatically, so how it felt like it just my life. Marriage, divorce, kids, family and home, all these are my hell, I guess.

Utterly disappointed with mum lately by her actions and the consequences she has brought. Can't believe she is devoting herself into such mess and putting everyone else on the line. Truly after knowing and facing all this, I swear I have never met such horrible people. About a 100K of debts has been hovering in my mind, as usual I crack my head up and have the temptation to suck it all up by myself. Many say its a lifetime repayment and I'm nuts but guess they're right. How could I be normal having to face all this over and over again. My emotions simply went wild with the symphony of chaos. I went around trying to rise the funds however was unsuccessful but lesson learn from this is that depending on myself is definitely the best principle I would ever follow. Friends, partners, acquaintance, family and etc, pretty bullshit when I'm in help. This is the time where all sorts of reason and theory will be revealed. Life is hash in this sense, like what has been said always, human are the worst creature on earth. Tho I'm human too but the sentence does make sense typically in a country like Singapore where most people only see the value in a bargain. The value just range from tangible such as interest repay to intangible such as selling yourself. Screw up world, no wonder god floods the earth once. Maybe the demolishing of earth is coming real soon too, nuclear is what's the rumour has been about.

I gave myself a night off from everyone, of cause it includes Timo. Pretty much flare at him a couple of time for telling me things that displeased my ears. I went so shopping, manicure session and got home clear some letters. I laid down on my sofa, gazing at the ceiling while thoughts flow through my mind. That's the best spot on earth to clam myself and recharge for tomorrow. It was then that I realized, I shouldn't involve myself in this mess as no one will be able to save the shit out of this. It all seem like a better choice for me to work harder to provide for my sister then to drown in this debts. As it come to this saying, this is also another phrase for me to pull it all together myself. When I say myself, its gonna be literally myself I guess. Ultimately, I detest depending on anyone as there's always a price to pay. Only by myself, I could roam and be in control of my world. As for Kitee, Timo and Lucas, I really appreciate the support and somehow having my back always. Even when the world knows that I'm crazy, you guys are like the 3 pillars of strength. If only I can bring all of you together regardless of the relationship we all had...

Days after days, years after years, I sunk myself into deep mess which was never mend to be mine. Its a constant nightmare that replay automatically, so how it felt like it just my life. Marriage, divorce, kids, family and home, all these are my hell, I guess.

Utterly disappointed with mum lately by her actions and the consequences she has brought. Can't believe she is devoting herself into such mess and putting everyone else on the line. Truly after knowing and facing all this, I swear I have never met such horrible people. About a 100K of debts has been hovering in my mind, as usual I crack my head up and have the temptation to suck it all up by myself. Many say its a lifetime repayment and I'm nuts but guess they're right. How could I be normal having to face all this over and over again. My emotions simply went wild with the symphony of chaos. I went around trying to rise the funds however was unsuccessful but lesson learn from this is that depending on myself is definitely the best principle I would ever follow. Friends, partners, acquaintance, family and etc, pretty bullshit when I'm in help. This is the time where all sorts of reason and theory will be revealed. Life is hash in this sense, like what has been said always, human are the worst creature on earth. Tho I'm human too but the sentence does make sense typically in a country like Singapore where most people only see the value in a bargain. The value just range from tangible such as interest repay to intangible such as selling yourself. Screw up world, no wonder god floods the earth once. Maybe the demolishing of earth is coming real soon too, nuclear is what's the rumour has been about.

I gave myself a night off from everyone, of cause it includes Timo. Pretty much flare at him a couple of time for telling me things that displeased my ears. I went so shopping, manicure session and got home clear some letters. I laid down on my sofa, gazing at the ceiling while thoughts flow through my mind. That's the best spot on earth to clam myself and recharge for tomorrow. It was then that I realized, I shouldn't involve myself in this mess as no one will be able to save the shit out of this. It all seem like a better choice for me to work harder to provide for my sister then to drown in this debts. As it come to this saying, this is also another phrase for me to pull it all together myself. When I say myself, its gonna be literally myself I guess. Ultimately, I detest depending on anyone as there's always a price to pay. Only by myself, I could roam and be in control of my world. As for Kitee, Timo and Lucas, I really appreciate the support and somehow having my back always. Even when the world knows that I'm crazy, you guys are like the 3 pillars of strength. If only I can bring all of you together regardless of the relationship we all had...