Wednesday, November 4, 2015
@ 10:12 PM | 0 Shhhh . .
Back in time ~
Indeed I have stopped for a long time, life just got me tied up since my last update. I started learning to blend in with the ups and downs that I was thrown at. Suffocating but things kinda settled much I guess.
Shortly after I became silent, I went on a rampage disagreeing with my mum's current husband. She is still that headstrong and refuse to listen as for me I rolled from home to grandma's place and settled at timo house. When the day end, mum will still be mum, some relationship just can't be cut forever.
Moving in was the biggest challenge I ever had. Agreement between his mum and I ain't always there. It start off really bad whereby I was scolded because timo smoke contraband cigarette which literally pissed me off. A couple of more issue happen which I now have a constant reminder in me to wash my own panties because it can't be washed with the washing machine, to tidy the bed every time I wake tho it will be messed again, to kinda put everyone thoughts in priority when I'm back. Had a couple of argument with timo where he couldn't figure out why I can't blend in and wanted move home. If I were to spill the beans, my answer will be that this is a challenge of changing of my lifestyle, my habits, my freedom and privacy. Its small stuffs but kinda big for me. Understood that he understand that I can't stand being left alone but still it's sort of overwhelming for me. So far the worst case was that I almost spend cny reunion dinner alone say the whole family went up to the dad side family and the mum told me to cook and it by myself. Thankfully god was good, the mum got scolded by the dad side family and they insist I go over. Followed by the mum asking if timo give me all his pay and if I would leave him once I got a degree. Haha!
As for my family, mum as usual querral with her husband and kinda planning to get divorce but I can't be sure how true. Cass got herself a new bf, moved in with him and I guess it's good for her. I tried to shift away from contacting her often but I still will stalk her once in awhile. Val is kinda going through what I went through before, tends to tear whenever I nag her as always. Her year end result was a great improvement as compared to her mid year result. Unfortunately, her hair fall badly these few years, doc mentioned that it was stress and there is no particular cure for it. Sigh, luckily it kinda improved lately and it's growing back but I'm sure she looks great with or without it. Elois still super young but super smart. Operates mobile very well to watch her minion shows and of cos hyperactive and grouchy always. Haha!
I took these years striving for my career when from an admin to inside sales rep to accounts manager in about 1 year plus. Great achievement I guess. My sentimental guts still win by the end of day. Instead of moving to other company for greater achievement I stop and rolled down to help kitee. Tho many told me not to but I know I can't turn my back on her.
Times and times I look back and think if this is the life that I wanted. Would stagnant be what I want to look forward every morning? I have alot of doubts which I can't find an answer or make a decision. All I knew now is that I made my decision too quickly and I can't stop hurting someone once I decide. Can't help to wonder why I stuck myself in this position but my girlfriends keep telling me that I wanted the best of both world? Is that true? Haha! Guess not, I just can't decide to follow my heart or my brain. To say that I'm fair, I'm actually not very from the start. Its my most selfish decision which makes me question if I had put in enough effort in my relationship. I don't know how would things be in future, I just pray that happily ever after would exist.
把你藏在我的第二颗秘密心脏里。我们好像拥有着一个无法让他人理解的世界。想念。爱你会是永远的吧。
