Saturday, December 8, 2012
@ 10:47 AM | 0 Shhhh . .
An Escape Trip To Fu Qing!
~ Got in love with the living there, it's in a slow pace of life where everything is happier i guess. Trying to drift away from all the problems but everything seems so clingy. Being far from problems maybe a good thing sometime. Gotta admit that i'm a person that care too much which sometimes make me feel super uncomfortable in silence. I was being myself during this few days of trip, it totally feels great! Enjoying beautiful scenery, slipping the wonders of tea and loving me. Entertaining, alcohol and and partying wasn't my choice but relatives from China wanna enjoy so everything was like water, flowing and flowing all around. I thought a lot before turning my head back Singapore. Arching to fly Hong Kong but i didn't. I'm still one that will face reality when i feel that there's a need to, no enforcement or words needed. A few days of pleasure can't devote into a lifetime, each path are build by one self and to me? I follow my heart most. Tho i didn't live on earth for a very long time but till today i still believe that every time one has a little more faith, there will be a little more hope; and every time one follow it's heart, nothing is fake. Be true to myself that's what matter most. However, i don't really quite bother about comments from everyone when i'm making my decision even tho i do care about they feelings. Back in Singapore, i stuck my feet right through the ground. This time round, i will have to settle my own stuffs before anyone else. Headache! Haha! Anyway i got a new hair cut and got my nails done. The moment i got this change was basically to hide my very true self. Only very close ones will know me well, the crazy and nonsensical idiot! Lastly, it's back to Sephi, the root that i decide to take a break from all round. Actually have a decision to leave him, not because i no longer love him and in fact i love him a lot which is more than myself. Consider on everything around us, we can never really be together again right? All the faces and the foresee problems, will he be ready to fake the smile to face everyone around me or will i be ready to fake the smile to face everyone around him? There's so much of will, can, ready, cannot, yes, no and etc. Really too much of it that makes me fear, make me feel insecure. I wonder and wonder if loving someone is seriously so hard? Frankly, contacting him a month is about plus minus ten time? Chances where i get to see him is about four time or less? I will question myself, is he ok? Is he tired and resting? Is he thinking of me? Did he eat well? Did he met someone new? Was i the one? I'm a girl, not yet a woman; polishing myself well to be a little woman beside him. I'm not greedy, that i want the whole of him but at least i want what every girl wants to have, to be love and care openly. No secrets, no lies, just by mature trust and faith. Butterflies in my tummy feels great when he fetched me from the airport, the coolness i portrait melts down when he acted the same way. It's kind of funny thinking of it! Hehe! Time will tell me an answer or maybe he will give me an answer. Oh ya, i'm extremely worried about Fuji Di. He is mentally stress up and emotional. Hoping much that i could give him a lift during his dilemmas. Strength comes from within and only he himself could help himself. Jiayous!
