Wednesday, June 6, 2012
@ 12:15 PM | 0 Shhhh . .
Why Get Myself Up?!
~ This few days been complicated till i didn't have time to settle my stuff. Trying to pretend that i'm not thinking or know about anything as i'm trying to pull myself away. Busy thinking about stuffs happening around the group and why am i the one to blame in the end? This world is indeed weird, when one is trying to console others, things ended up that they are pull into the picture instead. It's redundant for me to console them with all this was what they have done. Some where telling me how bad he is and i shouldn't get close to and the other is pushing me towards him but ended up being with him. Putting myself away from the picture, i tried to cool their mind and put my own stuff aside. I actually have lots to do when the memories rushes back to me yet i did my best to be fine. Good people is hard to be, kinda shouldn't have bother to cause myself such ridiculous anger. They wanna know what's happening to me but even when i tell will they understand? General knowledge i knew quite a sum of it but by repeating it to me it doesn't help but it makes me understand that they don't know me very well afterall. I had never shared my sad history to them till recently but they couldn't understand. I knew the result is gonna be like this, i told to pull off some curiosity. Thought i didn't tell everyone and everything but words will be pass around the group so sort of save some breathe. Work ain't that smooth when i can't help but to reply to they are text when the have problems. Sort of suck to slow down my work. Anyway, since they are sort of ok after me being the bad guy, it's time for me to spare some time for myself and do the thing i wanna do as well as need to do. I have quite a lot of complication myself and at point of time i wanna wash my hands off and not get involve with new complication. Hoping things will be better in the group before i felt that it's time to keep a distance. Allow myself to be more carefree like the past before knowing them. Some how captivated by my slow moving time but because they are nice people so i choose to stay. Just wish to apologize to them that i did have a lot of things not telling them, it's all for them to find out and realize who am i. I did my work to understand them and not everything in this world have to be told (:
