~ My life stink! How can i stand up once again? Because of him i turn my life upside down and got so miserable. No one really understand why i couldn't let it go. Sometime i just wish to get a hug from him or maybe sleep like the child that never wakes! Argh!!! I took a few pieces of bisket when i woke today, next meal will be at the bar. Mum, sister Cassandra and Dhillon came to the bar today. I am so glad to see them but not him. I really detest Dhillon but i couldn't express much out. I'm suffocated from inside out, who can i turn to? No one couldn't really handle me, can they? Putting up a daily smile wasn't easy when everything is just empty. It's sounds cool that i live by myself but do i have a choice? Even if i have will i really be happy like i used to? A self question that i couldn't get an answer. I'm so afraid to hurt other, i know i can give nothing, not even the heart of mine. It's shattered into tiny bits that can't be fix. Can someone show me the way? Can someone really understand how disappointed i'm by everything? Consideration i gave to others, will my time come soon. I really didn't ask for much in my life, i just wanna to simple and happy. Why is it so hard to be achieve? Must my path always be so rocky? Will Sephi heal me once again? I'm so dead drunk tonight because i don't want my mind to think. Terrible! Oh God! I really need warmness! Everything is so cold, frozen like ice!

~ My life stink! How can i stand up once again? Because of him i turn my life upside down and got so miserable. No one really understand why i couldn't let it go. Sometime i just wish to get a hug from him or maybe sleep like the child that never wakes! Argh!!! I took a few pieces of bisket when i woke today, next meal will be at the bar. Mum, sister Cassandra and Dhillon came to the bar today. I am so glad to see them but not him. I really detest Dhillon but i couldn't express much out. I'm suffocated from inside out, who can i turn to? No one couldn't really handle me, can they? Putting up a daily smile wasn't easy when everything is just empty. It's sounds cool that i live by myself but do i have a choice? Even if i have will i really be happy like i used to? A self question that i couldn't get an answer. I'm so afraid to hurt other, i know i can give nothing, not even the heart of mine. It's shattered into tiny bits that can't be fix. Can someone show me the way? Can someone really understand how disappointed i'm by everything? Consideration i gave to others, will my time come soon. I really didn't ask for much in my life, i just wanna to simple and happy. Why is it so hard to be achieve? Must my path always be so rocky? Will Sephi heal me once again? I'm so dead drunk tonight because i don't want my mind to think. Terrible! Oh God! I really need warmness! Everything is so cold, frozen like ice!